It's a Terrible day in the neighborhood, just a terrible day.......

I should have realized it was gonna be a bad day when I woke up and it was raining. Why? Well remember all those pretty outfits I had planned and y'all so nicely voted for.............yea none of them were meant for rain. White capris and a see through top would not have boded well. Therefore, I brought out the big guns: Mommy. Of course she knew just what I was aiming for without having to explain. "Something cute because you never know who you might see.......but you don't wanna try to hard, it's not like it's the first day of school or something."

So a new outfit was chosen (if thou is wondering: blank tank top covered with my paramore jacket and my cargo pants jeans). I looked good, but the extra time made me go into rush mode. In my rush mode, I managed to break one of my favorite necklaces, forget my money, and burn myself a bit on my straighter (which I eventually left one, YIKES!). Sure enough, we still got there late and I had to run through the rain.

I really realized something. Registration is usually fun. Annoying in that you have to stand in all those lines and junk, but fun because you see people for the first time all summer and you're excited for your new classes. Then it's a little depressing as you leave because you realize, "I gotta be locked up this place for how many months? Snap....." With no fun due to a lack of recognition among the crowd and little excitement when getting my sched (which says I'm getting math tutoring when I was told I'd be a teacher's aide so that'll look great to Harvard no?), I skipped straight to depression. What's worse is I DID recognize some people.....as who they reminded me of in TX. Literally, there are many MANY clones (but of none of you guys D:).

Needless to say, I wasn't too happy leaving. We went to go get some free pie, but since I don't eat pie I just burned my tongue on some bad hot chocolate and suffered through breakfast food (because it's the cheapest thing there). By the time I had to run through rain a couple of more times, SAD was egging on my bad mood. Literally, I came home and was like, "I'm depressed." How do you cure depression? TV shows on the comp (particularly my fav soap opera drama kinda show) and leftovers straight out of the containers. (Plus some more snacking here and there.)

Right when I was feeling better, news of this fly-in I was semi excited about came in the mail. (I don't care for the school, but an all expense paid visit to Maine on my b-day? Sign me up!) I didn't get it. Ok whatever right? Disappointed and trying not to wonder how this'll reflect on my college apps just months in the future (I'm applying WHERE? Am I crazy?!), my mom literally FISHES the scraps of the rejection letter from the trash and is like "oh". Thanks Mom. She didn't mean anything by it, but sad days.

After all haven't I been a good girl? Taking moving and all the bad stuff that's been happening in stride? Mom's $10000 ring stolen (prob by the movers) and her surrounding breakdowns, file a report and wait. Dad's constant anger and bitterness having to work sometimes 11 hour workdays at a job he hates and still barely supporting two houses, ok he can't help it, things are rough. Sit here listening about money problems simultaneously mixed with "we're ok", guess I don't need this or that, make adjustments. I guess that's why I focused so much of the positives and what I could control. Lifestyle especially. Even if they think I'm crazy, it really does make me feel healthier which makes me feel happier, and if I worry about that, less brain space to worry about everything else on the plate.

It's raining again. I shouldn't write when I'm depressed, too much venting. I'm gonna go do nothing again.

Bye,

~S~